XXXI

LOVING the black and white candid's Scott Schuman (The Sartorialist) is doing at the moment.

XXX

To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never to forget.

- Arundhati Roy

XXIX

Dear self - live the dream.

Hey, guess what, s***'s happening.

Hey, guess what, this is real life. Sometimes you don’t really consciously properly discerningly live in it. But this is it, and you’re a part of it.

It’s the real world now, where you have to make decisions, and have direction and vision, and know where you’re going, at least for the most part. You’re gonna make money and save money and spend money and save again and try to get ahead in the money game.

Hint: no one ever gets ahead in the money game.

Welcome to the real world, where sure, bad things happen. But when good things happen, they’re filled with enough… well, goodness… to last you all the way through the bad. Hopefully. That’s the dream.

And you’ve got the dream. You’re living in it! Don’t think just because every now and then you need to make some hard decisions and overcome some things, and maybe every now and then someone rubs you up the wrong way, or vice versa – don’t think that means your not living the dream. Because you are. And you’ll do well not to forget it.

This is called life. You’re a traveller passing through, and when you’re travelling its about living life to the full in every moment. So go on. Do that. And see what come out of it.

Live that dream. Even if you don’t know what it is quite yet… live it until you realise what you’re living.

XXVIII

Have you ever lost someone? Have you ever lost someone that you loved. How did you lose them, and did they stay lost or did the losing fix itself. Or did you fix it. Or did they.

Have you ever lost someone in more ways than one – physically, emotionally, mentally… they were lost. Does the loss compound across the different levels of consciousness? Or is it just the one thing. Loss. Does anybody know.

I lost someone once. I lost someone I loved. And I didn’t lose him to another woman, or to a new set of ideas, or to a dream or a lifestyle, or another place. It wasnt mentally or emotionally.

I lost him in the truest sense of the word. I lost him and there was nothing I could do about it. I lost him without the slightest trace of warning. Oh, the universe doesn’t often warn the soon-harbourerers of sorrow.

I lost him in the blink of an eye.

I lost my love. He was taken from me. And every day I miss him.

I lost my love.

And the one who took him, was you.

(Woman writing a letter to the drunk driver that killed her love)