CXCIX

There's Cracks in Everything

I don't even know 

How to begin

To explain all the ways that the world is not

The way I thought it was

The way I am changing

Because of what is surrounding me

But the way I know I’d be changing

Differently

If what surrounded me was surrounding me

Differently

I hope

That who I am becoming

Is who I am

And not who I am not meant to be

Even that is a fluid concept these days

To me

It's hard to know where you start and end 

In the world anymore

I dont feel safe

Inside any kinds of edging

'There’s cracks in everything

That's how the light gets in'

But what if there aren’t

Cracks

Just everything becoming porous

Will it stay this way?

I dont know

I think it will stay

Until I am done becoming, and unbecoming

And becoming again

Another way to say never

It will never stop being this way

[Image: Bianca Padilla for Harpers Bazaar Turkey]