CXLIV

I know what the love of a good man can do. 

I wish I could say 

I could have done it for myself, 

but it isn't true. 

A good man will take the negative noise a woman can't help but hear, 

and speak louder to her. 

He'll stand before her, and block it all from view. 

He'll fill up the room if he has to. 

I look in the mirror, 

most days, 

and admire what I see, 

because the love of a good man taught me to. 

I encounter a stranger and don't waver, 

or fall 

from standing on my own two feet, 

because the love of a good man taught me to. 

I hear the sound of my own voice, 

in the hush of a quiet room, 

and I speak in strong, steady beats, 

because the love of a good man taught me to. 

I think I knew, 

all along, 

that I was worth the world and more, 

but the love of a good man let me wrestle 

with the chance that I wasn't,

and never come up short. 

We like to be self-made, and battle-worn, 

and wisdom-aged, 

and hard-won. 

But I know what the love of a good man can do. 

He took everything I already knew, and proved it to be true.

CXXXII

I check the weight of all your words
temper them out
wondering if the consistency will hold.
They roll off your tongue, and I balance them
on the scales I've come to know
all too well.
Do you love me, still.
Do you want me, more.
Do you need me, at all.
Am I only counting chances.

I check the weight of all your words.
This one a little light, a little insincere.
This one heavier than any I'd ever want to hear.
Will I detect it before you tell it?
That fearful fateful forlorn truth I search for.
Will I know it before you let on
that our time is drying up
that all we've got isn't all that much, after all.

You're bearing my soul down, you know that?
This weight, just too much.
Cutting to the quick of who I am
and who we are
who I thought we could be
bearing down on all of it.
And I can't let you tear us apart.

CIV

Falling asleep to your pulse against my cheek.

Rhythmic and sure.

And your breathing is steady.

And now I can't breath.

For fear of disturbing that peace.

[Image Kate Moss via Pinterest]

CII

Today is a good day
My breathing is light.
It won't always be this way
I am sure.
Tomorrow, or the next day
Or a moment between
Clouds impend over the skyline
But they do not stay.
Perhaps they pour, or sprinkle
Cast shade
Perhaps they simply blow away
And I look up at the heavens marked by passing time
And I shout, "It's marking me too."
For it is
I am sure.


[Image via Pinterest]

XI

i carry your heart with me

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done

by only me is your doing,my darling)

                                                      i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

- E. E. Cummings

II

I came from love. I was never alone.
Even in my darkest moments, you loved me.
Even in my solitary places, you found me.
I came from love. I was never alone.
When I tried to escape, you followed me. 
Pursued me. Wooed me. Wanted me back.
You forsook no measure to regain me. 
To win me. To win me back.
I came from love. And from it I could never distantly stray. 
You held me, and hold me still. 
Much too close for me to deny you, though I often pretend to.
I came from love, and I feel it burning inside me. 
Your love empowers me. Urges me. Urges me on. 
Even if I know not what you’ve done.
I came from love. Love that died for me. Died and set me free.
I came from love. I was never alone… (repeat)